One Life to Live
by madarao29
Summary: The Doctor is given the choice. A choice to see what living the life of a normal man is like. The Dream Lord asked him what he would change about his past, one thing. The Dream Lord let's him experience his choice in only the most humane of ways. "How does it feel, Doctor? To experience life and experience dying while the world, time and people you love go on without you?"
1. Chapter 1

"I will allow you to change one thing in your past Doctor, but one thing only. You decide what negative affects it has on your future. I'll let you see what having one life to live can really be like." Said the Dream Lord.

The Doctor was a man, but he was also a time lord.

Having two hearts did not mean he had immunity to the friendships and relationships he made.

If anything, he had more room to love them all equally.

Above all else, he felt pain, felt it before he knew he'd even face it.

Every night in the Tardis, he didn't sleep, he thought of how hard it was going to be to say goodbye.

In all his regenerations, he'd gone through it. One day hello and hi, the next could be that they died.

He absolutely adored Rose, he couldn't have enough of her brilliance. And when she left him, he was distraught. Then he regenerated some time later as a new man, younger, cleverer, who laughed in the face of danger. He met a face, the first face that his face had ever seen in his first regeneration. Amelia Pond, a lonely girl with a crack in her wall. He promised to return after fixing his Tardis.

He did, albeit several years later. She looked really grown up then. Then he left for five minutes, came back 4 years later. He never really got the timing right.

By the end, when he sat on that park bench in New York reading the last page of his wife's book. He was thinking of so many things. He should have been there for her when she needed him, all those years of waiting, which she waited. He wasted so much time. Maybe he loved her more than he thought before, maybe he should have attempted to stay with them more than them with him. It rained memories and regrets. It reminded him of Rose and losing her, losing Donna too. He wondered if he should go back, if it would even make a difference. He waited a long time.

It hurt him. He followed Pond's advice and went back. He told her the story of Amelia Pond, of how it started. But he didn't tell her how it ended. He didn't like endings. He was confident he could change things. Why did it have to end that way? Why did it have to be he could never see them again?

He was going to try and change things. One less painful memory. Not let Rose go to the parallel universe? Go back to Pond when he meant to? Save Clara before she became a dalek? Stop Donna form saving him? He was firm in his decision in destroying Gallifrey, he couldn't change that. Not ever.

He had to choose.

He woke up in a field of grass in a park. He wasn't wearing a bow tie, or even a dress shirt. He had a blank t-shirt on and blue jeans. The sun was in his face and he had two things in his pockets. A cell phone and a movie ticket for a showing in an hour. He looked around, the Tardis was nowhere in sight and his heartbeats were irregular. There was only one.


	2. Chapter 2: Being Human

Chapter 2:

"Well I haven't regenerated that's clear," He reached up to his hair and throat. "And I'm still me, well at least I think so, the only thing that seems abnormal is my heartbeats-heartbeat, actually it seems." He looked at the apparent movie ticket in his hand. "Would I go see a movie by myself? I must be meeting someone there," He looked at the cell phone in his other hand. "Hmm, a 2004 model, must work well." He had the same shoes on, that he was glad of. His jeans were rolled up to his ankles, and he was sitting on a grey sweater. Not exactly how he pictured himself dressing, but then again he didn't plan on falling asleep in a park. How did he get there? Where was the Tardis?

He looked around and stood up and looked at the ticket again.

"I must be in London, says so here on the ticket," He started flicking the ticket and looking around seriously. "And it's at five thirty-five, I wonder what time it is now." He struggled for a second when suddenly a man that seemed to be rushing to his office, cane and suitcase in hand was rushing by. The Doctor ran over to him and walked at the man's pace.

"Excuse me, sir. Could I bother you for a moment," the man continued walking briskly, but The Doctor continued as well. "You see I don't seem to have a watch, so if you could-"

"Look I'm very busy, young man. I don't have time to speak with you. Good day." The man replied.

"Look, I need to know the time. Please, sir, I'm not asking for the world." The Doctor grabbed his arm desperately. The man looked at him and put his cane down. He fished out his pocket watch and opened it.

"Five to Five-thirty. You're welcome." Then the man scurried away and The Doctor paced for a second.

"So I have five minutes to get to a theater that I've never been to, with either myself or someone who must know me. Question is, where do I start?"

Clara stood up from the kitchen chair. She remembered the last thing he said to her.

"I can change things, just you see. And I can get River, Rory, Amy, I can get them back…and Rose."

She thought of telling him he could never get them back. Just as he couldn't get his previous companions back.

Not Sarah, not Rose, not any of them. He just couldn't quite grasp that, no matter what a genius he was. He knew he shouldn't attempt it, he couldn't stay with any of them forever. They would grow old, and he would stay young. But once he had an idea, no one could keep him from it.

Clara shook her head and wondered where he went, he left her. He ran out so fast, she didn't even hear the door shut. Rather odd, she thought. She plopped down on her couch and waited.

"Is this Curzon Mayfair Cinema?" The Doctor asked an attendant. He had to scurry over from Green Park after getting some direction. The attendant looked at him curiously and smiled. She nodded her head.

"Thank you." And with that he hopped over to the front of the cinema and looked around. A few minutes passed and he sat on the sidewalk. He grumbled, "I hate waiting," hand under chin and tired of waiting. Only a few minutes had passed, but he was beginning to think he got in the Tardis and came here just to see a movie.

Then, just when all hope seemed to be lost a cab drove around the bend at high speed and stopped just in front of the theatre. A girl emerged from the black cab in a leather jacket and dark pants. Most remarkable thing he noticed though was her red hair. The way it landed over her shoulders as she whipped out of the cab, almost in slow motion. He looked over as she fought with the cab driver on the cab fare. Then she shut the door and said something sassy in a Scottish accent.

She turned toward him. Her face lit up. The Doctor looked at her, she looked exactly like Amy. Amy! Could it be her? Did he land in a time where he hadn't met her or something? He turned to look behind him, but he didn't see anyone else. Not even a Rory in sight.

She ran towards him. Soon she was face to face with him, smiling. He didn't know how to react and so he grabbed her shoulders and hugged her tightly.

"Amelia?" She pulled away and looked at him, the smile faded.

"Why are you acting so strangely James?" She asked. James? Who was James? He thought. He wiped at his teary eyes.

"How do you mean, Pond?" Amy looked at him strangely and stood up on her toes and touched his forehead with the back of her hand.

"Have you got a fever or something? If this is about me being late, you don't need to wig out about it."

The Doctor looked at her pensively.

"So we're at a theatre, why?"

"To watch a movie." She said as it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well. Yes, I figured. But why didn't you invite Rory?" He asked.

"Rory? Why would Rory come? I came to spend time with you. Is that odd?" Amy asked eyeing him warily.

"No. I mean, yes, I love spending time with you but I just thought-."

"Then let's go before the movie is over!" She grabbed his hand and they ran into the theatre.

About an hour and a half later they exited. The Doctor was still very much confused about the events inside the theatre, besides the actual film. When they sat down, the lights went down and the film started she put her hand on his leg at the suspenseful moments. Then she held his hand for the remainder of the show. Don't get The Doctor wrong, he doesn't quite grasp the concept of this. He took it as Amelia from some point in time and space being, well not Amelia, but Amelia.

So when they departed he had to ask.

"Amy, where are we going now? It looks rather late, I'm sure Rory will be worried," The Doctor looked at her as she glanced over at him.

"James, Rory isn't my mum, I'm sure he wouldn't care. And did you not want to go back to the flat? You usually do."

"Why do you keep calling me that? Your flat? I suppose so. Maybe the Tardis will be there." Amy sighed and they got a cab.

When they arrived at her flat it wasn't exactly how he remembered it. The door was still blue but it had been repainted and looked like that shed was back, and it looked quite fancy.

"Wow, when did you fix up your house? Did Rory repaint?" Amy looked at him oddly.

"No. Actually, if you don't remember, you did. Well you and your brother. You worked mostly on the interior James, mostly the bedroom." Amy rose her eyebrows up with that word. The Doctor thought about it for a moment then let it go, figuring it was just an Amy thing.

She dragged him inside. Jack, River, and another man with a leather jacket were sitting at Amy's table.

"And so when were you thinkin' on getting home?" the man asked.

"Chris Smith, my old friend I wasn't expecting you for tea."

"Neither was I," Chris cooly replied as The Doctor just stared at them all.

"River…" He said and River smiled warmly and brightly. Her face glowed, and The Doctor smiled too.

"Hello, sweetie." Her signature line, and he walked towards her and grabbed her hand. Chris looked at him.

"James, we need to talk about John." Jack said disrupting the air between him and river.

"John? John Smith?"

"Uh, yeah, your brother. He and Rose have decided to elope in Paris. They are coming back, but you need to be prepared. Since John took over the business, well, he doesn't quite understand: your whole unemployment thing." Jack replied.

"Yeah, and he's a bit angry at you. The plus side is that he and Rose are having a baby, so good news, but he is going to whip you a good one when he returns." Chris said by shoving a fish finger in his mouth that he stole from Amy's fridge. He had no custard though.

"River is their pediatrician. Why'd anyone trust her with kids? I have no idea but this was decided today. We had to let you know." Jack commented.

The Doctor didn't really know what to make of any of it. River a doctor? He had brothers? Where was Rory?

"Alright, baby brother. We'll try and call you before he lands. Don't do anything stupid." Chris hit The Doctor on the head and motioned to Jack and River. "Let's go." They walked out the door and waved to them.

The Doctor had so many questions. But for one he knew he couldn't have traveled here. Must be a parallel world of some sort.

"Well what do you want to do, Amy?" He asked her. Amy grabbed a fish finger and dipped it in a custard bowl.

"Remember when I was ten, and you were twenty? You watched over me when my parents were out?" She continued without waiting for a response. "And I was having a tough time after my aunt passed away and you told me a story about The Doctor and how he flew away with his companions. We sat at this table, right here, and we ate fish fingers and custard. Well I had ice cream. That was a good time. Since today you turn 36, I was thinking we'd do something a bit more special." Amy smiled up at him. She had a custard moustache. He grinned and giggled a little. But he found her statement about The Doctor a bit hysterical.

"What should we do then? Play a parlor game? Or football, I do like that sport" He leaned in smiling innocently. She shook her head.

"How about you go wash up first and meet me in my bedroom?" He smiled, still not quite realizing his mother-in-law's intentions.

He went into the bathroom with a towel he found in a cupboard. He looked around in the bathroom and opened a cabinet. It had some pain killers, a bottle of mouthwash and two toothbrushes. One must belong to Rory. One was a dark blue, the other was light red. He shut the cabinet.

After his shower he went to Amelia's room. She was there, as promised.

"Alright then. I no longer smell of sweat and grass. What are we-." She grabbed his face and brought her lips to his. At first: confusion, disorientation, and WHAT? A second later: Okay, cool, yes. 3 seconds after that: wait. NO. Keep going. Stop. He ripped away from her.

"Amy? We need to stop."

"Why?" Amy asked not really paying attention.

"This can't work, because I-I'm not going to grow older, but I am. Wait. I'm going to grow older. What's my excuse then?" The Doctor sat on his heels and looked at Amy. Amy reached for his shirt.

"Right. Well then?" Amy smirked as she continued

"And Rory?"

"What about Rory? He's my neighbor. Remember? We hardly know him. So come on, raggedy man."

"Well, I suppose we should then."

"James, we've done this several times. Sometimes more than twice a day. Don't act all shy on me now." The Doctor quirked a brow at her.

The Doctor awoke in Amy's bed alone. He looked around and got out of the bed. He had managed to put his shirt and jeans back on. The house was quiet. He crept down the stairs to find a thin man with pointy hair and a long tan trench coat. He was facing away from him. The Doctor slunk into the kitchen where the man was sitting.

"Hello…" The man looked up at him and arched his left eyebrow.

"You. You took my job, and look at me now. I've got everything. You think if you let someone else come in and take your spot they'll do a better job?! Well you're wrong!" He yelled at The Doctor.

"Look, John-."

"Sit-down." The Doctor sat across from him.

"Listen to me, James. You have a new job starting today. You'll be my assistant, which means you have to fill in for me when I'm not around teaching classes in Physics and Chemistry at Oxford. Is that clear?"

"John, look I'm not really James." John looked at him as if he were a buffoon.

"James if you're drunk this early, God forbid it, but get your head in the game and get to the office at 9 You have about an hour." And with that John sauntered out of the flat. Then Amy skipped into the kitchen and kissed him on the cheek. He had to get used to that, he supposed.

"Well, I'm off to go kiss-o-gram-ing. You'll be here right?"

"Apparently I have a job."

"And you're actually going?"

"You're still a kiss-o-gram?"

"Yes"

"Then yes."

"Alright. Bye then."

So he went into Amelia's father's closet where he had left some clothes and picked out a good outfit. He selected a burgundy bowtie, a white dress shirt and slacks and a dark tweed jacket. He felt like his old self again.

He ran out the door and into the middle of the road. A car circled round the bend at a high speed and neared him. He scrambled out of the way. On the ground, his heartbeat beat 1000 times a minute. He had to remember to be much more careful. He was, for the moment, very much human. He could die at any moment. Holy Gallifrey how was anyone suppose to really live? And all the waiting he has had to do just now. And traveling, will he even get to travel anywhere?

When he arrived at work he rushed into the glass double doors and ran by Jack who was flirting with the secretary. He practically fell into Johns office. John turned around, silver mug in hand and sipping his coffee.

"You are," he said looking at his watch, "Exactly 14 minutes late. What a disappointment." He looked quite savvy in his navy blue suit and tie. He hadn't shaved in a bit, one could tell. His trench coat hung on a coat rack in the distance. The Doctor sat in the chair in front of John's desk.

"Who told you to sitdown. Get up." The Doctor stood up. "And what are you wearing? Never mind that just take a look at this." He slid a manila folder towards him.

"John, I don't know if I have ever been a very good brother, or how many times you've offered me this job, but thank you." John dropped his pen and looked at him for a moment. Then John walked over to him and sat on the front of his glass desk.

"It's not a problem, Father would be proud you know." Then John sat back at his desk and The Doctor walked out to a room that had his name in golden letters.

James Smith

He smiled. He never really belonged in any place. But now he lived with Amy and he had a family. He was happy. Everything was so perfect. Imagine The Doctor with a day-job, a girlfriend, a family, and human.


End file.
